Sunday, October 18, 2009
Sweater Weather.
The first hint of post-summer weather has broken through this weekend, with temperatures falling into the upper-40s (!!!) and today's high in the 60s. I don't think there's going to be any snow, but I'll take what I can get. The downside: after my run, my throat felt as if I'd swallowed a mass of broken glass.
I just checked the weather app on my phone and we're scheduled to be back in the mid-to-upper 80s by Wednesday.
I'm preparing myself (and Rufus and El Gato) to move in a couple of weeks. I've been scouting some apartments around USF and have a pretty good idea of where I'm going to be. The place I'm targeting is a two bedroom duplex about two miles from campus, close enough to bike or walk, saving money on gas and parking. Even with two bedrooms, I'm not planning to have a roommate. Rufus can have his own room.
Things making me happy:
- Steve sent me a better version than what I had of an old Acceptance demo called "Not Afraid" that I've been playing over and over this morning.
- New MacBooks should be announced this week.
- New Dexter tonight... season four has been incredible (so far).
- The housewarming gift I got for Lindsay should be arriving at her new abode any day now.
I know those are all terribly shallow and superficial things, but it's the best I can do right now. It's been a long week.
I just checked the weather app on my phone and we're scheduled to be back in the mid-to-upper 80s by Wednesday.
I'm preparing myself (and Rufus and El Gato) to move in a couple of weeks. I've been scouting some apartments around USF and have a pretty good idea of where I'm going to be. The place I'm targeting is a two bedroom duplex about two miles from campus, close enough to bike or walk, saving money on gas and parking. Even with two bedrooms, I'm not planning to have a roommate. Rufus can have his own room.
Things making me happy:
- Steve sent me a better version than what I had of an old Acceptance demo called "Not Afraid" that I've been playing over and over this morning.
- New MacBooks should be announced this week.
- New Dexter tonight... season four has been incredible (so far).
- The housewarming gift I got for Lindsay should be arriving at her new abode any day now.
I know those are all terribly shallow and superficial things, but it's the best I can do right now. It's been a long week.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
It's Been Awhile.
I know it has been a while (months) since I've written anything in this space, but I've felt the pull to (theoretically) scribble my thoughts out for a couple of weeks and, gosh darnit, 140 characters just won't do sometimes.
Since the last time I posted, I've decided to move to California to pursue my career in the music industry, reneged on that decision, quickly moved out of my apartment and back up to Land O' Lakes, quit the music business altogether, and taken a job at the University of South Florida.
I can't say whether any of those decisions are for the better or worse, as I feel like I've existed as a ghost of myself for several months. I've seen myself go through all of these changes, but they haven't felt personal. It's as if I've been watching myself undergo a prolonged operation from the observation deck .
My separation from the music industry has been somewhat easier than I'd anticipated, but I have had a few "what the hell am I doing?" moments from time to time. Any time I listen to some of my more personal former clients, I get that itch to jump right back in. From an outside perspective, I'm sure it appeared I was doing well. I had a stable of artists that could hold their own and who sold a lot of records. I had artists who could legitimately headline from coast to coast. Most importantly, I had artists I truly loved, enjoyed, and believed in. The prevailing problem, however, was that I didn't believe in myself as an agent. At least not as an agent that could survive with the big boys. Hence my undecision re moving to Los Angeles.
I did find a job that I think I enjoy with one of USF's research groups and I'm going back to class (again) in January. A 26-year-old junior. Perpetual - or intermittent - student. I don't even know what I'm going to study when I get back in class. I've changed my mind so many times that I think I may have run out of options, even at a school as large (45k students) as USF.
As much as it pains me to say, I am still not over Whitney. More than a year after I broke HER heart, I still miss her. A lot. I have only been this affected once before - when things fell apart with Bonnie - and I don't really see it coming to an end anytime soon. I dated Rebecca after Whitney and I split up, but I never got nearly as deep, emotionally, with her as I did with Whitney. It seems silly to now look back on the reason we broke up at all - distance. If she called, texted, IM'd, emailed, tweeted, pinged, telegrammed, carrier pigeoned, or skywrote "move to Baltimore tonight",I would be on a plane in two hours. I'd have Ravens tickets for week 8 (they're on the road next week and off the following week) and be looking at ticket plans for my secretly-beloved Baltimore Orioles next spring. The Emerald City would become my home and I wouldn't give it a second thought. I'd even change my Facebook network.
I don't know if it's a common affliction, but it's something that happens to me constantly, and that is not truly appreciating what I have in a relationship until it's gone. I have maybe three real regrets from my sordid dating past and a piece of each still haunts me. A combination of having too much going on in my brain and an unhealthy amount of sentimentality, I guess. The difference with Whitney is that I haven't gotten to that point where I can honestly say to myself, "no, that really wouldn't have worked out." I can say that about Bonnie. I can say that about Christina. I can really say that about Christina.
I kinda felt like John Cusack in "High Fidelity" right there. Number One in the list of Top Five Worst Breakups...
/triumphant return.
Since the last time I posted, I've decided to move to California to pursue my career in the music industry, reneged on that decision, quickly moved out of my apartment and back up to Land O' Lakes, quit the music business altogether, and taken a job at the University of South Florida.
I can't say whether any of those decisions are for the better or worse, as I feel like I've existed as a ghost of myself for several months. I've seen myself go through all of these changes, but they haven't felt personal. It's as if I've been watching myself undergo a prolonged operation from the observation deck .
My separation from the music industry has been somewhat easier than I'd anticipated, but I have had a few "what the hell am I doing?" moments from time to time. Any time I listen to some of my more personal former clients, I get that itch to jump right back in. From an outside perspective, I'm sure it appeared I was doing well. I had a stable of artists that could hold their own and who sold a lot of records. I had artists who could legitimately headline from coast to coast. Most importantly, I had artists I truly loved, enjoyed, and believed in. The prevailing problem, however, was that I didn't believe in myself as an agent. At least not as an agent that could survive with the big boys. Hence my undecision re moving to Los Angeles.
I did find a job that I think I enjoy with one of USF's research groups and I'm going back to class (again) in January. A 26-year-old junior. Perpetual - or intermittent - student. I don't even know what I'm going to study when I get back in class. I've changed my mind so many times that I think I may have run out of options, even at a school as large (45k students) as USF.
As much as it pains me to say, I am still not over Whitney. More than a year after I broke HER heart, I still miss her. A lot. I have only been this affected once before - when things fell apart with Bonnie - and I don't really see it coming to an end anytime soon. I dated Rebecca after Whitney and I split up, but I never got nearly as deep, emotionally, with her as I did with Whitney. It seems silly to now look back on the reason we broke up at all - distance. If she called, texted, IM'd, emailed, tweeted, pinged, telegrammed, carrier pigeoned, or skywrote "move to Baltimore tonight",I would be on a plane in two hours. I'd have Ravens tickets for week 8 (they're on the road next week and off the following week) and be looking at ticket plans for my secretly-beloved Baltimore Orioles next spring. The Emerald City would become my home and I wouldn't give it a second thought. I'd even change my Facebook network.
I don't know if it's a common affliction, but it's something that happens to me constantly, and that is not truly appreciating what I have in a relationship until it's gone. I have maybe three real regrets from my sordid dating past and a piece of each still haunts me. A combination of having too much going on in my brain and an unhealthy amount of sentimentality, I guess. The difference with Whitney is that I haven't gotten to that point where I can honestly say to myself, "no, that really wouldn't have worked out." I can say that about Bonnie. I can say that about Christina. I can really say that about Christina.
I kinda felt like John Cusack in "High Fidelity" right there. Number One in the list of Top Five Worst Breakups...
/triumphant return.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Myers-Briggs...
Took the Myers-Briggs test, I'm one of these. Accurate?
Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
by Marina Margaret Heiss
Profile: ISFJ
Revision: 3.1
Date of Revision: 20 Aug 2007
ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)
ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.
In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.
While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.
Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem.
Functional Analysis
by Joe Butt
Introverted Sensing
As for ISTJs, the dominant Si is oriented toward the world of forms, essences, generics. Again, "for both of the IS_J types, the sense of propriety comes from the clear definition of these internal forms. ... A 'proper' chair has four legs," etc. (Jung saw IS as something of an oxymoron: sensing, which is a perceiving function, focused inward and thus away from that which is perceived (the "object"). In this light, he described this sensing as something removed from reality, full of archetypes/mythical figures/hobgoblins; sensing of one's own set of forms.)
Extraverted Feeling
A kind of "regression toward the mean" provided by the Fe auxiliary function serves to socialize the expression of these forms. I suppose it's the auxiliary nature of this Feeling, coupled with the balancing effect of {detachment from the internal idiosyncratic view of free-floating data perceptions} that makes ISFJs tentative, conservative, and reticent to boldly state the rights and wrongs in the relational world. (Loosely translated, ISFJs like to keep their perceptions to themselves, and aren't sure enough that what they "see" as Introverted Sensors has any relevance to the outside world. Thus the perception, based on unworldly data, may not be true. The obedient Extraverted Feeling function must therefore refrain from strong statements expressing these opinions.)
Introverted Thinking
Introverted Thinking is turned inward and is largely invisible. It is only with great difficulty, if at all, that the ISFJ could willingly commit anyone to their doom. Perhaps this explains why ISFJs are loyal to the end; there is no sense of purely objective (i.e., impersonal) judgement of anyone but themselves (and that only by their own standards). Here is this type's achilles heel that makes many of them so vulnerable to the scoundrels and ne'er-do-wells who often use and abuse them.
Extraverted iNtuition
ISFJs are easily undone by Extraverted iNtuition, their inferior function. Believing in the fantastic, and disbelieving the technologically extant, are errors that my guide the gullible (or unfoundedly sceptical) ISFJ off a precipice of mis-conclusion. (One of our co-workers' mothers adamantly refused to believe that Dave Letterman's mom was actually at the olympics in Norway talking with the athletes and handing out hams! She suspected technological trickery.)
This childlike Ne is, however, the likely source (coupled with fun-loving Extraverted Feeling) of the practical joking, punning and (usually harmless) impishness of some ISFJs.
Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
by Marina Margaret Heiss
Profile: ISFJ
Revision: 3.1
Date of Revision: 20 Aug 2007
ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)
ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.
In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.
While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.
Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem.
Functional Analysis
by Joe Butt
Introverted Sensing
As for ISTJs, the dominant Si is oriented toward the world of forms, essences, generics. Again, "for both of the IS_J types, the sense of propriety comes from the clear definition of these internal forms. ... A 'proper' chair has four legs," etc. (Jung saw IS as something of an oxymoron: sensing, which is a perceiving function, focused inward and thus away from that which is perceived (the "object"). In this light, he described this sensing as something removed from reality, full of archetypes/mythical figures/hobgoblins; sensing of one's own set of forms.)
Extraverted Feeling
A kind of "regression toward the mean" provided by the Fe auxiliary function serves to socialize the expression of these forms. I suppose it's the auxiliary nature of this Feeling, coupled with the balancing effect of {detachment from the internal idiosyncratic view of free-floating data perceptions} that makes ISFJs tentative, conservative, and reticent to boldly state the rights and wrongs in the relational world. (Loosely translated, ISFJs like to keep their perceptions to themselves, and aren't sure enough that what they "see" as Introverted Sensors has any relevance to the outside world. Thus the perception, based on unworldly data, may not be true. The obedient Extraverted Feeling function must therefore refrain from strong statements expressing these opinions.)
Introverted Thinking
Introverted Thinking is turned inward and is largely invisible. It is only with great difficulty, if at all, that the ISFJ could willingly commit anyone to their doom. Perhaps this explains why ISFJs are loyal to the end; there is no sense of purely objective (i.e., impersonal) judgement of anyone but themselves (and that only by their own standards). Here is this type's achilles heel that makes many of them so vulnerable to the scoundrels and ne'er-do-wells who often use and abuse them.
Extraverted iNtuition
ISFJs are easily undone by Extraverted iNtuition, their inferior function. Believing in the fantastic, and disbelieving the technologically extant, are errors that my guide the gullible (or unfoundedly sceptical) ISFJ off a precipice of mis-conclusion. (One of our co-workers' mothers adamantly refused to believe that Dave Letterman's mom was actually at the olympics in Norway talking with the athletes and handing out hams! She suspected technological trickery.)
This childlike Ne is, however, the likely source (coupled with fun-loving Extraverted Feeling) of the practical joking, punning and (usually harmless) impishness of some ISFJs.
Sick as a dog.
Sick as a dog. Pretty sure it's just the flu. Regardless, it sucks. Times like these when having an assistant would be handy.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Went over to House of Blues in Orlando to hang with the Nightmare of You, Alkaline Trio, and Saves the Day guys Saturday. It was an experience. Such great guys. Meant to go with them down to Fort Lauderdale today, but I don't think I'm up for it. Not sure I can handle back-to-back nights.
Weird thing about the show last night... this girl that I randomly picked out of the line at the Kevin Devine/Brian Bonz show last week to be my date/plus one was also at the Nightmare of You show last night. And she found her way into the green room with us for most of the night. Weird/random/interesting.
With the recent steroid trouble Manny Ramirez has found himself in, the discussion of "how do we judge the players from this era?" has fired up once again. I'll repeat the same thing I've always said: Vote the best guys of this era into the Hall of Fame, just like voters did with players who played during segregation. Make sure fans at the Hall are aware of the context in which these players played, and let them make their own assumptions of any player's worth. Truth is, there's not tangible evidence that steroids actually boost a ballplayer's ability to hit, catch, or pitch a baseball. I do think there's plenty of proof that excluding an entire group of quality players (blacks) for the first fifty years of the game's modern existence, however, inflates final statistics. Manny did 'roids. A-Rod did 'roids. Big deal. Those were choices they made, they got caught, now they have to live with whatever repercussions emerge.
Final note... I had the pleasure of seeing and hanging out with Brian Bonz last week while he was in town with Kevin Devine. Such a good kid and a great talent. He's got a record coming out over the summer and he'll be on my Nightmare of You tour in June-July. Check him out @ www.myspace.com/brianbonz.
Cheers.
Weird thing about the show last night... this girl that I randomly picked out of the line at the Kevin Devine/Brian Bonz show last week to be my date/plus one was also at the Nightmare of You show last night. And she found her way into the green room with us for most of the night. Weird/random/interesting.
With the recent steroid trouble Manny Ramirez has found himself in, the discussion of "how do we judge the players from this era?" has fired up once again. I'll repeat the same thing I've always said: Vote the best guys of this era into the Hall of Fame, just like voters did with players who played during segregation. Make sure fans at the Hall are aware of the context in which these players played, and let them make their own assumptions of any player's worth. Truth is, there's not tangible evidence that steroids actually boost a ballplayer's ability to hit, catch, or pitch a baseball. I do think there's plenty of proof that excluding an entire group of quality players (blacks) for the first fifty years of the game's modern existence, however, inflates final statistics. Manny did 'roids. A-Rod did 'roids. Big deal. Those were choices they made, they got caught, now they have to live with whatever repercussions emerge.
Final note... I had the pleasure of seeing and hanging out with Brian Bonz last week while he was in town with Kevin Devine. Such a good kid and a great talent. He's got a record coming out over the summer and he'll be on my Nightmare of You tour in June-July. Check him out @ www.myspace.com/brianbonz.
Cheers.
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